This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
