I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
