how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
