bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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