somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You took a bar mat shot.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Cover your peen. We're going out.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
