So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
