You're my little dorito
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
