this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
