just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
