you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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