So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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