i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
