Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just want to make out with him forever
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
