So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
