He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
