I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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