Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
