Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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