Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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