dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
40s are totally the cure
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
