I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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