Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
