I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
