do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
