He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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