If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
