I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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