yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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