Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
