i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
