woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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