About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
