More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
