I hope mine doesn't look like that
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
