the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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