just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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