Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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