You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
