Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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