The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
