I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
