A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
