I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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