The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
