Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
