For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
