ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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