My room smells like vodka and shame
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
