i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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