I want to make a zoo with you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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