Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
